Boundaries and Choices
I haven't posted here in ages. I had to take a break from this, from the searching, from the complaining and the angst and hurt. Enough else in my life to occupy my time. I had the house in town to maintain in addition to this one, and a toddler who needed full time care among other things, like clearing up the ruins of another's life once again. I got tired. More than average tired. Deep down inside tired. So, I quit. I stopped seeing Mama as frequently, using the excuse that I had the 2-year-old who is now 3 and about to turn 4. It was enough to balance my marriage with full time childcare and the despondency of his mother. I've struggled with this hard distancing of myself from my mother, but I needed to do this. I had to reset my mind, my mouth, my heart so that I wasn't in a constant state of bleeding from wounds, complaining long and loud about her, examining self and struggling with the tangles. What I came to, bey...